Achievements and Relationships.

C.S. Lewis called "home-making" the "ultimate career" and said, "All other careers exist for one purpose only, and that is to support the ultimate career." It is so easy to get that backwards and begin thinking of the family as something that supports (or sometimes gets in the way of) the career.

There are two prime explanations for why we put so much more effort into achievements than relationships.

One is recognition. There is simply not as much accolade and acknowledgment for our relationships as for our achievements. Having a great marriage or a great kid or being a loyal friend might get us a compliment now and then, but in terms of real, broad recognition, they can't hold a candle to running a company or even getting a big promotion.

The second factor is even more basic, and more important. We just don't know as much about how to build great relationships and strong marriages and families as we know about how to do well in our companies or positions. We don't have MBAs for parenting. Our goals are more specific in our careers and finances than they are in our families and marriages.

The first step to rectify the situation is to recognize it. Make a conscious commitment to prioritizing relationships and family. Remind yourself that career supports family and not the other way around. Set simple goals each week for your most important relationships. Find blocks of time when you shut off not only the phone and computer but the whole achievement part of your brain so you can focus on the people you love.

The second step is to improve your relationship and life-balancing skills. Make it the most important part of your personal growth and development. Seek out relationship training. You can prioritize people over things and build stronger families and marriages without jeopardizing success in your career.

When you do this, you will be on the way to achieving the only true success.

by Richard & Linda Eyre